Sarcastic quotes and sayings
Moderator: Chip
A WOLF found great difficulty in getting at the sheep owing to the vigilance of the shepherd and his dogs. But one day it found the skin of a sheep that had been flayed and thrown aside, so it put it on over its own pelt and strolled down among the sheep. The Lamb that belonged to the sheep, whose skin the Wolf was wearing, began to follow the Wolf in the Sheep’s clothing; so, leading the Lamb a little apart, he soon made a meal off her, and for some time he succeeded in deceiving the sheep, and enjoying hearty meals.
“APPEARANCES ARE DECEPTIVE.�
“APPEARANCES ARE DECEPTIVE.�
I don't like ass kissers, flag wavers or team players. I like people who buck the system. Individualists. I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity.'" Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name. If they say, "We're the So-and-Sos," take a walk. And if, somehow, you must join, if it's unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. But don't participate; it will be your death. And if they tell you you're not a team player, congratulate them on being observant.�
― George Carlin
― George Carlin
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQ_fO8BSPZo[/youtube]
Whether or not the information takes hold in the mind depends on two factors: trust and the source of information and repetition of the message. Trust and the source of information induce the acceptance of a message as true even if it is not understood. Repetition of the message embeds in the subconscious so that acceptance of the truth and accuracy becomes a conditioned response. Thus this information will be accepted as true without thinking about it whenever it is presented again.
Correction 1:
Not everything that goes up comes down. Russian satellites seem to come down but the Voyager 1 spacecraft is 11 billion miles from the sun.
The craft is currently in what NASA calls, not undramatically, "the boundary between the solar wind from the Sun and the interstellar wind from death-explosions of other stars," an area that astrophysicists also call, less dramatically, a stagnation layer.
It will be interesting to see if the craft bounces off the interstellar space boundary and returns to crash back down on earth.
Correction 2:
There are now many women and there magnificent flying machines also.
Not everything that goes up comes down. Russian satellites seem to come down but the Voyager 1 spacecraft is 11 billion miles from the sun.
The craft is currently in what NASA calls, not undramatically, "the boundary between the solar wind from the Sun and the interstellar wind from death-explosions of other stars," an area that astrophysicists also call, less dramatically, a stagnation layer.
It will be interesting to see if the craft bounces off the interstellar space boundary and returns to crash back down on earth.
Correction 2:
There are now many women and there magnificent flying machines also.
Fallacy is usually an improper argumentation in reasoning resulting in a misconception or presumption. By accident or design, fallacies may exploit emotional triggers in the listener or interlocutor (appeal to emotion), or take advantage of social relationships between people (e.g. argument from authority). Fallacious arguments are often structured using rhetorical patterns that obscure any logical argument.
He has the amazing ability to compress the greatest number of words into the smallest idea I’ve ever heard.
Mark Twain
The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
Mark Twain
The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
Soar With Prudent Passion
Larry Chamblee
Larry Chamblee
If you get the facts, your judgment can be right; if you don’t get all the facts, it can’t be right.
-Bernard Baruch
I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
-Jack Benny
I was converted from fool when my spine was somewhat reorganized.
-Russell Baker
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
-Dick Gregory
Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.
-Sir Winston Churchill
If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
-Mel Brooks
“I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies in a fight. But my friends, my goddamned friends, they’re the ones who keep me walking the floor at night�.
-Warren G Harding
In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.
-Ellen DeGeneres
A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
-Evan Esar
However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results.
-Sir Winston Churchill
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
-Groucho Marx
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
-Mark Twain
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
-George Carlin
Millions watched the apple fall, but Newton was the only one who asked why.
-Bernard Baruch
A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
-Joan Rivers
A crowd always thinks with its sympathy, never with its reason.
-William R Alger
I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something.
-Mitch Hedberg
A man who builds his own pedestal had better use strong cement.
-Anna Quindlen
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
-Groucho Marx
-Bernard Baruch
I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
-Jack Benny
I was converted from fool when my spine was somewhat reorganized.
-Russell Baker
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
-Dick Gregory
Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.
-Sir Winston Churchill
If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
-Mel Brooks
“I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies in a fight. But my friends, my goddamned friends, they’re the ones who keep me walking the floor at night�.
-Warren G Harding
In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.
-Ellen DeGeneres
A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
-Evan Esar
However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results.
-Sir Winston Churchill
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
-Groucho Marx
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
-Mark Twain
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
-George Carlin
Millions watched the apple fall, but Newton was the only one who asked why.
-Bernard Baruch
A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
-Joan Rivers
A crowd always thinks with its sympathy, never with its reason.
-William R Alger
I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something.
-Mitch Hedberg
A man who builds his own pedestal had better use strong cement.
-Anna Quindlen
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
-Groucho Marx
